I should be reviewing Wall Street Journal Articles for class...but I'm not. Instead I'm frustrated and a little angry at the Grove City Theater Dept. I wrote a play last year and I've submitted it to be used in the One Act festival twice, neither time was it accepted. I also adapted Mark Twain's "The Diary of Adam and Eve" for the stage this summer and submitted it, it was also not selected. Now, certainly I have a bit of wounded pride at this, but that's not what this article is about. (Every writer should face failure and learn to deal with it) The thing is, the coordinators for the festival actually enjoyed my plays, though they found the one I had written too dark for a festival they wanted to be full of comedies (it has it's moments but it's no tragedy...) and they questioned Twain's theology and it's use on a Christian campus. Ok, I disagree, but ok. Until that is, they tell me they still want me to direct and I have my choice between two plays: one boring and not really suited to what I want to do senior year, and the second, which I chose, a slightly riske play about a husband and wife and the husband's ex-girlfriends visit (which consists of a big ol kiss and a sketchy backrub) <--The theology of this is not questionable? Sure Mark Twain has some unorthodox views of the first man and wife, he humanizes them *GASP* oh no! he humanized humans? but but but, that just makes my world crumble!!!
It seems that we are only concerned with differing theology when it is placed before us in a way that we cannot avoid questioning. A play that has no mention of God, but portrays action that flies in the face of his commandments, that's ok...but heaven forbid Adam say that wherever he went with Eve a part of Eden was with him...blasphemer. Likewise, we want a play that makes us laugh, not one that makes us think, or desire a relationship with Christ, we just want to laugh.
Well it's a week from the show going up, I'm frustrated, my coordinator just told me he thinks the way I'm portraying the backrub scene is sketchy and awkward....it's the way it's written! ("I just always pictured her sitting up" ...it says flops over on the bed!!)
Sure I could censor the script, I could cut out the scene (and the play would make a lot less sense) I could continue to edit words like promiscuous (already did that...apparently it's an inappropriate descriptor...) and other moments that make the audience understand why Wanda is such an odd character and an irritation to Marsha (Jim's wife) but then what would the play be? anything? I've already made edits I'm sure the writer wouldn't approve of, but that I have to make bc it's GCC. So Instead of asking me to edit the last line of the play I adapted, to make it a little less like Eve was replacing God (which I don't think was Twain's point) I'm changing a whole lot more of the play, and I'm still uncomfortable and stressed.
I don't want to cater to the crowd but I don't have a choice. Or do I? I'm only here one semester. I'm seriously considering an underground production of either the bus stop or the diary of adam and eve...
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
why i run.
I walked into the house with my heart beating everywhere but inside my chest where it belonged. Head, arms, knees, feet, every inch of my body was pulsating. I was drenched in sweat and my face was blood red. The pain in my knees was closing in on unbearable. I went straight to the kitchen, grabbed a glass and filled it from the tap. I gulped it down and filled up two more. Walked into the living room and collapsed on the floor “stretching.” I had just run 8 miles. The farthest I’ve ever run. You distance runners out there are probably thinking “psh that’s nothing, I can run 8 miles in my sleep.” But I’m a sprinter, I run hurdles, and in practice I never run more than 4 miles, tops. And this year I sprained my ankle going over a hurdle so I wasn’t even running that. So to go from 2-3 miles “a day” to 8, well that’s huge for me.
That’s not what this is about. This is about the sentence in that paragraph you probably read over without thinking, taking it for granted. Guess which one it is? “I went straight to the kitchen, grabbed a glass and filled it from the tap. I gulped it down and filled up two more.” Here in America so many of us are blessed with clean drinking water right from the tap. Even more of us here live on or around the cleanest lake in New York State (possible all the U.S.) and can walk right down, dive right in and drink up as much as they want. This is a beautiful and blessed thing.
For people living in poverty in Africa, this is nearly impossible. They have to walk miles a day just to reach a water source that is not even clean and appropriate for drinking. They can’t just reach for the tap and fill a glass of clean, pure water that is safe from disease. Kids miss school because they have to make these water walks, and take care of their families.
That’s why I went for an 8 mile run. I’m running in the Skinnyman Triathlon in Skaneateles, NY with Team Active:Water. Active:Water is an organization that uses donations made to support their athletes to provide clean drinking water to impoverished countries. Right now they work with Blood:Water Mission and Seeds of Hope International, but as they expand, they will be working with more and more organizations worldwide to provide water to more countries in need. Athletes sign up to support the organization through the different events they participate in and then get donations to support them in the race, and all the funds go directly to Active:Water where they are used to give individuals clean water, families water filters, and even build clean water wells, providing clean water for entire villages.
Sure there is a story in my triathlon training without this, it’s hard and it hurts and it makes me feel great about what I can achieve, but it’s not the story I want to tell. I want to tell a story about other people, and how I was able to affect them. How other people were able to help me affect them. I want to tell how I was able to use my gifts to bring something wonderful to people. What story do you want to tell?
copyright M. Markley June 2010
That’s not what this is about. This is about the sentence in that paragraph you probably read over without thinking, taking it for granted. Guess which one it is? “I went straight to the kitchen, grabbed a glass and filled it from the tap. I gulped it down and filled up two more.” Here in America so many of us are blessed with clean drinking water right from the tap. Even more of us here live on or around the cleanest lake in New York State (possible all the U.S.) and can walk right down, dive right in and drink up as much as they want. This is a beautiful and blessed thing.
For people living in poverty in Africa, this is nearly impossible. They have to walk miles a day just to reach a water source that is not even clean and appropriate for drinking. They can’t just reach for the tap and fill a glass of clean, pure water that is safe from disease. Kids miss school because they have to make these water walks, and take care of their families.
That’s why I went for an 8 mile run. I’m running in the Skinnyman Triathlon in Skaneateles, NY with Team Active:Water. Active:Water is an organization that uses donations made to support their athletes to provide clean drinking water to impoverished countries. Right now they work with Blood:Water Mission and Seeds of Hope International, but as they expand, they will be working with more and more organizations worldwide to provide water to more countries in need. Athletes sign up to support the organization through the different events they participate in and then get donations to support them in the race, and all the funds go directly to Active:Water where they are used to give individuals clean water, families water filters, and even build clean water wells, providing clean water for entire villages.
Sure there is a story in my triathlon training without this, it’s hard and it hurts and it makes me feel great about what I can achieve, but it’s not the story I want to tell. I want to tell a story about other people, and how I was able to affect them. How other people were able to help me affect them. I want to tell how I was able to use my gifts to bring something wonderful to people. What story do you want to tell?
copyright M. Markley June 2010
Urban Cowboy
Urban Cowboy
On the streets he roams, looking for a home
Wide brimmed hat worn and flapping
And a ring for each finger to show where he’s been
He stares at me through the window
Do I remind him of someone from long ago
Does he remember that week a year ago
Smoking a cig on the park bench relaxed before the storm,
I catch him staring at me once more
I nod and he nods in return
Chivalry or memory
His scraggly gray hair lies just at his shoulders
Peering out under the hat
Short gray beard well kept for where he’s been
His eyes pierce mine and I have to look away
I don’t know what he’s thinking or what he feels
But I feel like if I kept my eyes locked I’d get lost in that dark soul
He played his music once, and has a cd
We got to listen to it at breakfast that day
Who are you and where have you been
Urban cowboy who calls the streets home
Who walks the new frontier
What do you think of us both being here
What brings us, old and young to watch for the break in the clouds, for the sun
If I went out, would you speak to me,
your eyes hardly leave mine
Urban Cowboy what’s on your mind
How did we get to this strange place and time?
copyright M. Markley 2010
On the streets he roams, looking for a home
Wide brimmed hat worn and flapping
And a ring for each finger to show where he’s been
He stares at me through the window
Do I remind him of someone from long ago
Does he remember that week a year ago
Smoking a cig on the park bench relaxed before the storm,
I catch him staring at me once more
I nod and he nods in return
Chivalry or memory
His scraggly gray hair lies just at his shoulders
Peering out under the hat
Short gray beard well kept for where he’s been
His eyes pierce mine and I have to look away
I don’t know what he’s thinking or what he feels
But I feel like if I kept my eyes locked I’d get lost in that dark soul
He played his music once, and has a cd
We got to listen to it at breakfast that day
Who are you and where have you been
Urban cowboy who calls the streets home
Who walks the new frontier
What do you think of us both being here
What brings us, old and young to watch for the break in the clouds, for the sun
If I went out, would you speak to me,
your eyes hardly leave mine
Urban Cowboy what’s on your mind
How did we get to this strange place and time?
copyright M. Markley 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
MSG
MSG
The town video rental store is closed and vacated. Just another sign of the times and the growing dependency on Netflix, Redbox and internet downloads. Our society is becoming less and less tangible, books are now on electronic readers like the Kindle and the Nook and even the ipad, which was invented simply because we expect new and innovating things from Apple. I wasn’t very attached to this video store, so it’s closing didn’t affect me the way the closing of the Wegman’s video store, where we got all our videos as children, did. This store only had new releases to movies from 30 years ago, no classics, easily replaceable by Redbox which also carries new releases. The only thing I’m sad to see go about this store is movie store guy. As we drove by the empty store front this morning we thought to ourselves, where is he now?
An iconic figure here in town, MSG, as we fondly referred to him behind his back, bears a striking resemblance to Philip Seymour Hoffman, enhancing his movie store guy title. MSG and I would often lament the lack of classic titles in the rental store, if he had his way they would have had a lot more. (A similar conundrum has been discussed between myself and members of the local bookstore which has a classics sections consisting of exactly 3 tiny shelves) He would tender recommendations which were dead on 99% of the time and when returning, we would discuss recently viewed films. He reminded me of Jack Black’s character in High Fidelity.
I suppose I’m a bit behind my generation with respect to this whole technological craze, I prefer to read my books on paper, and while I appreciate my laptop, and its ease in getting my ideas on “paper” I prefer pen and ink. No one writes letters anymore, no one reads books anymore, and even our movies are becoming more and more intangible. My cell phone only sends calls and text messages, I don’t have internet capabilities, and I’m ok with that, because it’s a phone…for calling people…to talk to them. I have an appreciation for technology, the quality of my TV is better with Fios, so is the speed of my internet, I use my computer and internet frequently, I have a facebook and was coerced into getting a twitter, social networking is the way things are going and I need to be on board I suppose. So I’m not ranting against technology, and I have plenty of artsy friends who love the Kindle, especially because classics are free, which I admit, is the most convincing argument I’ve heard for it yet. However, I think that something is going to be seriously lost in our society and our communication with each other if we continue to let all these intangible technologies seep into our lives and watch people like MSG slowly fade into the background.
When I first heard of the Kindle I worried about a Farenheight 451 bookpocalypse. What would happen to the books people simply didn’t want to put online, didn’t want to make available? How would the technology of the Kindle effect authors and the way they wrote books and how would it’s cheap prices effect author’s wallets, ergo, someday my wallet? But I find myself slowly less adamant about its evils, though I really do prefer a book in my hands. The other day I was sitting in a pub downtown when an old Irish gentleman stole my attention from my book by saying how impressed he was to find me reading and that no one ever reads books anymore. I was so sad to hear this, because reading books is wonderful and it seems to be something that many people ascribe to the “educated” or “English major types” or excuse themselves as “not really a book person.” For me, as an English major, and a lover of books far before I ever defined myself as such, I can’t see how anyone would not want to read. However, I think about how much of my time is allocated to TV and the computer, and how different that is from when I was a child when I didn’t have a computer (no internet at home until I was 13) and we had 10 channels on our TV, one of which was PBS and I used to watch Wishbone when I wasn’t reading a book. I find myself distracted more, and with 250 channels, I don’t even watch my 3 Netflix a month (I subscribed out of frustration at the lack of selection at the movie store…MSG was sympathetic).
I feel as though we are becoming a less and less intellectual society and wonder what it will be like to raise my kids in schools where the curriculum is dumbed down so the kids can pass exams, and channels that used to be educational, like the history channel, focus on myths like ancient aliens, Bigfoot and The DaVinci Code.
What are we doing with our time and energy, are we exercising our brains enough? If we continue to let technology do our work for us what’s going to happen to our society? I suppose I could be getting paranoid, but I’m a sentimental sucker. I love record stores and bookstore coffee shops and all that out of fashion good old fashion stuff. And I miss movie store guy.
The town video rental store is closed and vacated. Just another sign of the times and the growing dependency on Netflix, Redbox and internet downloads. Our society is becoming less and less tangible, books are now on electronic readers like the Kindle and the Nook and even the ipad, which was invented simply because we expect new and innovating things from Apple. I wasn’t very attached to this video store, so it’s closing didn’t affect me the way the closing of the Wegman’s video store, where we got all our videos as children, did. This store only had new releases to movies from 30 years ago, no classics, easily replaceable by Redbox which also carries new releases. The only thing I’m sad to see go about this store is movie store guy. As we drove by the empty store front this morning we thought to ourselves, where is he now?
An iconic figure here in town, MSG, as we fondly referred to him behind his back, bears a striking resemblance to Philip Seymour Hoffman, enhancing his movie store guy title. MSG and I would often lament the lack of classic titles in the rental store, if he had his way they would have had a lot more. (A similar conundrum has been discussed between myself and members of the local bookstore which has a classics sections consisting of exactly 3 tiny shelves) He would tender recommendations which were dead on 99% of the time and when returning, we would discuss recently viewed films. He reminded me of Jack Black’s character in High Fidelity.
I suppose I’m a bit behind my generation with respect to this whole technological craze, I prefer to read my books on paper, and while I appreciate my laptop, and its ease in getting my ideas on “paper” I prefer pen and ink. No one writes letters anymore, no one reads books anymore, and even our movies are becoming more and more intangible. My cell phone only sends calls and text messages, I don’t have internet capabilities, and I’m ok with that, because it’s a phone…for calling people…to talk to them. I have an appreciation for technology, the quality of my TV is better with Fios, so is the speed of my internet, I use my computer and internet frequently, I have a facebook and was coerced into getting a twitter, social networking is the way things are going and I need to be on board I suppose. So I’m not ranting against technology, and I have plenty of artsy friends who love the Kindle, especially because classics are free, which I admit, is the most convincing argument I’ve heard for it yet. However, I think that something is going to be seriously lost in our society and our communication with each other if we continue to let all these intangible technologies seep into our lives and watch people like MSG slowly fade into the background.
When I first heard of the Kindle I worried about a Farenheight 451 bookpocalypse. What would happen to the books people simply didn’t want to put online, didn’t want to make available? How would the technology of the Kindle effect authors and the way they wrote books and how would it’s cheap prices effect author’s wallets, ergo, someday my wallet? But I find myself slowly less adamant about its evils, though I really do prefer a book in my hands. The other day I was sitting in a pub downtown when an old Irish gentleman stole my attention from my book by saying how impressed he was to find me reading and that no one ever reads books anymore. I was so sad to hear this, because reading books is wonderful and it seems to be something that many people ascribe to the “educated” or “English major types” or excuse themselves as “not really a book person.” For me, as an English major, and a lover of books far before I ever defined myself as such, I can’t see how anyone would not want to read. However, I think about how much of my time is allocated to TV and the computer, and how different that is from when I was a child when I didn’t have a computer (no internet at home until I was 13) and we had 10 channels on our TV, one of which was PBS and I used to watch Wishbone when I wasn’t reading a book. I find myself distracted more, and with 250 channels, I don’t even watch my 3 Netflix a month (I subscribed out of frustration at the lack of selection at the movie store…MSG was sympathetic).
I feel as though we are becoming a less and less intellectual society and wonder what it will be like to raise my kids in schools where the curriculum is dumbed down so the kids can pass exams, and channels that used to be educational, like the history channel, focus on myths like ancient aliens, Bigfoot and The DaVinci Code.
What are we doing with our time and energy, are we exercising our brains enough? If we continue to let technology do our work for us what’s going to happen to our society? I suppose I could be getting paranoid, but I’m a sentimental sucker. I love record stores and bookstore coffee shops and all that out of fashion good old fashion stuff. And I miss movie store guy.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
write right
If I'm going to really pursue my dream of being a writer, copywriter or novelist, I need to really hone my skillz. Unfortunately, I, like most writers I know, am lazy. And I enjoy being lazy. oh sure when I have a deadline to pursue I get it done, and when I'm getting paid I can do the work, and do it pretty well. It's when it's just for me, or even potentially for something else that I always seem to find time to do something else. I can't seem to sit down and write something good start to finish, I mean I start with some great ideas that just fall flat as I get to the end. I want to be able to stick with it.
I have another problem. when I do write I don't like to show it to other people. I'm afraid of rejection, that they won't think I'm as good as I think I am, that I will pale in comparison to other writers, that the critics (who know nothing) will mock me, and well I'm not ready for any of that. I'm a chicken. how the great authors did it I don't know. granted they were great, but did they know they were great or did they second guess their talent just like me. Do I have the potential to be great or just mediocre?
"The presence alone of Faulkner in our midst makes a great difference in what the writer can and cannot permit himself to do. Nobody wants his mule and wagon stalled on the same track the Dixie Limited is roaring down." – Flannery O’Connor, The Grotesque in Southern Fiction
I have another problem. when I do write I don't like to show it to other people. I'm afraid of rejection, that they won't think I'm as good as I think I am, that I will pale in comparison to other writers, that the critics (who know nothing) will mock me, and well I'm not ready for any of that. I'm a chicken. how the great authors did it I don't know. granted they were great, but did they know they were great or did they second guess their talent just like me. Do I have the potential to be great or just mediocre?
"The presence alone of Faulkner in our midst makes a great difference in what the writer can and cannot permit himself to do. Nobody wants his mule and wagon stalled on the same track the Dixie Limited is roaring down." – Flannery O’Connor, The Grotesque in Southern Fiction
Monday, April 26, 2010
Water Water everywhere, but not a drop to drink
So I'm not sure who all reads this but if you do, please consider sponsoring me in this year's Skinnyman triathlon. I'm running for Active Water an organization that helps people in Africa get clean water (Blood: Water Mission) and learn how to work the land (Seeds of Hope Int'l). This is my site. check it:
http://www.active.com/donate/activewaterupick/mmskinnywoman
more info to come.
http://www.active.com/donate/activewaterupick/mmskinnywoman
more info to come.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
The Final Countdown
As I approach the end of my senior year in college I have to stop and think that it was nothing like I had ever expected. It has been wonderful and I have grown up so much, and learned so much about myself and the world around me that I hardly want to leave. Not so for many of my friends. They are quick to count down the days, some of them have been counting since January. We have just under a month left together and the last thing I want to do is count that away. It saddens me that we have such a tendency to look to the future and ignore the present. Granted, I also hate the reminder that I have 4 papers due in 30 days or less. and Granted, I should be reading Shelley right now but I'm procrastinating because I can't focus on that.
Now, I graduate in May with my friends but also come back in September to finish my second degree in December. So I don't have to go out to the real world yet, I don't have to get a job and I'm not even close to getting married (which more and more of my friends are it seems). But the thought of my closest friends moving on without me is hard. They will have new experiences that I will not have for another half a year. Then there's the thought I have about high school I had a great high school experience and I thought I would be friends with my high school friends for years, but by my sophomore year of college we had drifted apart. I've come to terms with this now, realizing we had too many differences in beliefs to stay friends long and that as we grew stronger in those beliefs or disbeliefs we would eventually separate. and while I don't worry about that issue with the friends I've made at school, I wonder if other things will drive a wedge between us.
My mom says this won't happen, she says I have such better relationships with my friends than she ever had. But still, she doesn't even talk to the maid of honor in her wedding anymore. will I be like that? Will my maid of honor even be someone I went to college with? (especially since I'm nowhere close to marriage) Will I be able to maintain relationships with people as we all move away (some overseas), get married, have kids? People say change is good, that it's natural, that we have phases in our life and people drift in and out. What if I don't want these people to drift out? Can I stop it? I think about how little I talk to the seniors that graduated last year and wonder if I'll go years between talking with my friends from school. I think about maggie and ange and jenny living just 10 minutes walk down in the apartments and how little I see or even speak to them and wonder what will happen when we're 10 hours apart.
I can't help not wanting to count down, wanting instead to try to slow time, to try to live in the moment and enjoy everything, even the academics. (shelley is beckoning) But I wonder if we can, and is that a good mentality? How can I find a balance between slowing down and speeding up? Am I, are we, supposed to? How can I be sure when the end of the year comes I won't be left standing alone, unsure and lost? When high school ended college started. now with college ending, what starts? how does it start? who does it start with? who is there to guide you through it? you're expected to be an adult by now, to figure these things out alone, to pay for everything even when you don't have a job. but how?
Last night I went out for dinner with some of my best friends and we raised our glasses to staying in college as long as we can, and I laughed because I am, but it also made me sad because the rest of them are leaving in a month. and let's be honest, staying in college as long as you can is no fun if your friends aren't there with you.
Song of the moment: I need you now, Lady Antebellum
Now, I graduate in May with my friends but also come back in September to finish my second degree in December. So I don't have to go out to the real world yet, I don't have to get a job and I'm not even close to getting married (which more and more of my friends are it seems). But the thought of my closest friends moving on without me is hard. They will have new experiences that I will not have for another half a year. Then there's the thought I have about high school I had a great high school experience and I thought I would be friends with my high school friends for years, but by my sophomore year of college we had drifted apart. I've come to terms with this now, realizing we had too many differences in beliefs to stay friends long and that as we grew stronger in those beliefs or disbeliefs we would eventually separate. and while I don't worry about that issue with the friends I've made at school, I wonder if other things will drive a wedge between us.
My mom says this won't happen, she says I have such better relationships with my friends than she ever had. But still, she doesn't even talk to the maid of honor in her wedding anymore. will I be like that? Will my maid of honor even be someone I went to college with? (especially since I'm nowhere close to marriage) Will I be able to maintain relationships with people as we all move away (some overseas), get married, have kids? People say change is good, that it's natural, that we have phases in our life and people drift in and out. What if I don't want these people to drift out? Can I stop it? I think about how little I talk to the seniors that graduated last year and wonder if I'll go years between talking with my friends from school. I think about maggie and ange and jenny living just 10 minutes walk down in the apartments and how little I see or even speak to them and wonder what will happen when we're 10 hours apart.
I can't help not wanting to count down, wanting instead to try to slow time, to try to live in the moment and enjoy everything, even the academics. (shelley is beckoning) But I wonder if we can, and is that a good mentality? How can I find a balance between slowing down and speeding up? Am I, are we, supposed to? How can I be sure when the end of the year comes I won't be left standing alone, unsure and lost? When high school ended college started. now with college ending, what starts? how does it start? who does it start with? who is there to guide you through it? you're expected to be an adult by now, to figure these things out alone, to pay for everything even when you don't have a job. but how?
Last night I went out for dinner with some of my best friends and we raised our glasses to staying in college as long as we can, and I laughed because I am, but it also made me sad because the rest of them are leaving in a month. and let's be honest, staying in college as long as you can is no fun if your friends aren't there with you.
Song of the moment: I need you now, Lady Antebellum
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