This weekend, I went to women of faith in Rochester, I was the youngest one there out of our group for the weekend, which wasn't easy. And I got almost no downtime to relax and process. But honestly, those are my only complaints, and their not that important. While I really wish I had more time to sleep or just enjoy the extremely comfortable bed in our hotel room, I was pretty energenic the whole weekend, until about 12 today when I crashed. God is so good. The speakers were encouraging, and mom and I got to spend time alone together, which we've never done before. (and we didn't kill each other!)
Something I really struggle with is being single. I think that there must be something wrong with me, that this is some trial I'm going through. Well throughout the past year God has been trying to convict me that this is a season in my life I have to go to, and that I have opportunities to serve him as a single woman, that I will never have again. This weekend, Lisa Harper got up and spoke. She's 45 and single and would love to be married if God decides to put the right man in her life, but as she puts it "360 days of the year I'm happy to be single" and you know? I am too, most days I don't think about it or throw myself a pity-party, but then there are those times when I have to bury a dead goat in the middle of the night and my pants are falling down and i think, "what the heck God?" (note: i dont have a dead goat...harper does) Needless to say I bough both her books...why? not because I thought there would be some miracle answer as to how to get a man (clearly hasnt worked for her if there is) but because I want to learn how I can use this "trial" as a ministry. If I'm ever 45 and single (Please, God, don't...) I want to be Lisa Harper. up there on stage telling women how God will use us even when we're a perfect mess, or we don't have it all together or we are single and don't have kids and so on. Because, I want to be a firefly (like patsy clairmont) and no one likes a firefly that whines and mowps about, bc they don't give off a very bright or enticing light. I have joy in the Lord and I want to shine and show that joy to the world despite my circumstances...which I realized this weekend, are pretty freaking blessed. so, do I LOVE being single? not yet, will I ever? maybe, can God use me if I let him? Heck yes! and I'm pretty excited to be used because I know my worth in my father's eyes and I want to let other women know they are princesses despite what the world thinks.
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