A good church.

I recently moved to Cleveland, and for a girl whose known very little other than Syracuse,NY and Grove City, PA, it's been an interesting transition to say the least. I don't mind living alone, though I do bake more and I am slowly learning to master the omelet, but living in a big city can get you down. And Cleveland is just the right size to be a total downer. See, there's not so much going on like NY, LA, Boston or Chi-town that a single girl could distract herself with. And there's not as much hiking, skiing or green grass around to satisfy the hipster country girl in my soul. (Cleveland doesn't have parks downtown like other cities, at least not ones with grass...that I've found yet) And so one gets lonely here, in fact, I think Cleveland has a better chance of crushing your soul than any other city. It doesn't swallow you whole like NY or LA, it chews you up and spits you out.

That said, it's not all bad, I like my job, I can see both buildings from my apartment, we apparently have a great art museum, theater district, and fresh market which old man winter has deterred me from exploring, and the rock n roll hall of fame and cavs are here too. But if you don't know anyone it's difficult to venture out and enjoy these things.

I miss my friends and I miss my family, and I am having a harder time meeting people than ever before. Mainly I think b/c there's some social stigma about really being friends with the people you work with (you never have this in high school and college) and no one bothers to really help you meet people (sure you have orientation and you're introduced around the office, have happy hours, but lets be honest, this is all done in an effort to get you to cooperate with your peers for the benefit of the company. Just get to know each other enough, but you're not going to find your bf or bff at work) If you have any sort of faith, finding friends can be even harder. Trying to find someone who would rather go to the movies than get wasted on a Saturday night is surprisingly hard to do these days, especially with the "young professionals": we have a lot of money and no one but ourselves to spend it on.

When talking to my friends about this dilemma, especially when I was back at my Alma Mater last weekend, the question inevitability arises: "Have you found a good church yet?" sometimes said in curiosity, but more often than not, as if the affirmative answer holds the key to all my troubles. Oh you haven't met anyone, well have you found a good church? oh you need something to do on weekends, have you found a good church, oh I'm sorry you miss your friends here but have you found a good church?

What these people fail to realize is that I had a good church, a great one, I still do. The problem is I am estranged from it. No I'm not talking about a building or a denomination. I'm talking about the relationships I had while at grove city. Ones I still am trying to maintain through letters, emails and phone calls, but its not the same. I imagine this is how the early church felt with their leaders and friends spread out around the globe. Paul did not cease to encourage his brothers and sisters when he was far from them, and he often longed to be with them. But his place was elsewhere and he needed to be focused there. Lucky for him, he usually had at least one guy with him.

I moved out here alone, and while I must be forward looking, it's hard not to compare the churches I go to, to the one I had. To yearn for the people who already know me intimately. To not have to start over.

It also makes me wonder, what to you makes a good church? What do they mean have I found a good church? Actually I got this great little place where we're having grape kool aid on Sunday? nope. how do we measure a church? is it what's "right for us", are the teachings scriptural? Let me tell you, if they aren't, it is a bad church, get out, get out now. But I wouldn't be going to a church where the teachings aren't biblical, and my friends know that so what do they mean? When catching up with a classmate who was also there last weekend, he asked me that question, and I said, well, I've found a church, (it's not hard to do, look in the yellow pages, talk to anyone you know, go online and search for your cities churches, read an online statement of faith etc) but I'm not sure I wanna plug in yet, it's a little 'seeker friendly' which is great, especially downtown, but I think I want to be around a body that's more mature in their faith (see Hebrews 5:11-14 if you disagree with me). But I'm making sure I'm going to church every Sunday, somewhere, so that I can at least try to meet new people.

But what I also said to this classmate was that I haven't found anything like Grace (a church I went to while at school) and his response was "well it's not about Grace, it's about God" which took me back, and I thought, wow, way to call me out, you're right. It's not...except that it is... the thing I love about Grace is the people, the genuine love they have for each other, worshiping with others who I know would hold me accountable, who truly desire to know how I'm doing, what I'm struggling with and how they can help me. That we break bread together and recite the liturgy (which as an intellectual I love, but as a generally emotional worshiper, am surprised that I would like a church with a liturgical base) and pray with each other, striving to grow more in our Lord. I miss that. and I haven't found that in a church yet...and here's why...I haven't connected with the people in a church yet. Finding a good church is really really hard. It's not something you can do in a month and a half (how long I've been here)because it's not just about the doctrine or the worship or the preaching, those, in some form are in every church. What makes it a good church is how the people interact, how they love each other. And that is something that takes time to experience. With Grace it was easy. I already knew all the people from college, and so to go there and say it was a good church was easy for me. Pastor Ethan's teaching was strong and biblical, I enjoyed the liturgy, and thanks to my brothers and sisters, left feeling uplifted and full of the joy of the Lord (manifested by their love for me).

Now I feel like I'm going to church to go. Because I should, when I could talk to God just as easily at home. I could call up a spiritual mentor and seek their wisdom as easily as I could that of some pastor. This is why it's not easy to find a good church. Because as the pastor at the church I've been attending said this morning. It should not be about the building. The church is not the building. It's the body, and we are called to come together and support each other, which is why I wish when someone asked me in response to my sadness and loneliness, "have you found a good church yet" they would instead say, I'm sorry sister, what can I do, how can I help. Could I call you more, do you like letters, what if I took time to visit, or I have a friend out there I could introduce you to. Why do we think that because we no longer worship together because of distance we must be separated? That it's someone else's job to shepherd that person? It's not.

A good church is a wonderful thing. Don't let it become an excuse for you not intentionally pursuing a relationship with someone. Don't make it the be all end all. Because here's the rub...it's not about a church, it's about God. But when I moved away to Cleveland I didn't move away from God. I moved away from my church. From my friends and believers who strengthened me. I have God, He is always with me. What I need is for his children to come alongside me, and me alongside them. that's the thing...if it's not about *insert churches name* then it's not about finding "a good church" Overall it's about communion with our Lord alongside our brothers and sisters. and in a mediocre church I can do that, but when it comes to needing someone to be with me and pray and just spend time with me, I need a good church. I don't care if some of that church is spread out (technology eliminates that excuse) and I do need a good church here, but it may not come for a while.

So next time someone comes to you with troubles, especially if it's someone distanced from you, don't ask them if they've "found a good church" be that good church for them. Encourage them to worship with believers where they are, but don't think just because you are separated from them by distance you are no longer your brothers keeper. Be a good church.